JEZEBEL or JAMIE?
If first grade is any indication of what I’m up against when it comes to Rinn and girls then I’m, for lack of a better word, screwed. We’re only in the early part of December and we’re on our THIRD, yes THIRD, audacious young lady. And let’s not forget school was closed for the better part of September due to Hurricane Florence. First there was Enya who forced him to sit by her at lunch and gave unwarranted hugs, then came Natalia who Rinn remains tight lipped about and now we’re hearing about Jamie.
In our routine “how was school?” conversation, I asked “what do you play at recess?”:
Rinn: We play Jamie.
Me: What does that mean?
Rinn: Well I’m trying to break up with her.
A long awkward pause occurred in which I’m thinking “who is Jamie?”, “what do you mean you “play” her?”, and “I’m not ready to split holidays with Rinn’s in-laws.”
Me: Break up with her? What do you mean?
Rinn: Ugh. You know, like boyfriend and girlfriend.
Me: (trying to maintain composure) A GIRLFRIEND? When did this happen?
Rinn: I don’t know. She never told me.
Me: Well how do you know she’s your girlfriend then?
Rinn: She told all of my friends.
Another long awkward pause in which I’m struggling not to call a first grade girl a trollop.
Me: Well if she never asked you to be her boyfriend then you’re not actually her boyfriend.
I don’t think you need to worry about it, you’re too young for a girlfriend anyway. Just ignore it and play with your friends.
And because I am nothing if I don’t top off conversations with a sarcastic remark…
Me: Also, this Jamie girls sounds dangerous.
Rinn: (in a seriousness) Oooh, she is DANGEROUS.
I miss homeschooling.
YOU GONNA LEARN TODAY
Rinn loves school. Apparently so much so that when he got home the other day he insisted on playing “teacher” and educating me in phonics. He opened with “Do you know multi-syllable words?” To which I literally clapped back “AB-SO-LUTE-LY”. After he realized he couldn’t stump me, we switched rolls; he was to be the student and I the teacher. But of course he couldn’t relinquish all control and insisted that I include “-er” words.
Rinn: Make sure you use -er words. I know those now.
Me: Words that end in -er?
Rinn: Yeah, that end in the vowel -er.
Look of confusion.
Me: Rinn, -er is a suffix not a vowel.
Rinn: No, it’s a vowel.
Me: The e in -er is a vowel, but not the r. Combined they make a suffix.
Rinn: Mom, it’s a vowel. There are just some things in this world you don’t know.
On second thought, I don’t miss homeschooling.