New mantra: it's not a freight train

Happy New Year readers!

I say this with genuine enthusiasm because 2017 kind of sucked and while I realize that January one is technically just another day, I am happy to use the new year as an excuse put a lot of things behind me. Also I realize I’m about a month behind in acknowledging the new year but I spent too much time drafting a reflective post in which I grumbled about all the struggles that I experienced in the last 365 days only to realize that this exercise didn’t exactly fall within my resolutions to replace complaints with gratitude and adopt a more positive outlook on life. It’s not as if I’m about to suddenly wear rose-colored glasses and fill my blog with pictures of sunshine, rainbows and memes about keeping calm and stuff; but it was in writing that reflective post that I uncovered so many great moments from 2017 that I probably took for granted because I was too busy whining about the less than great moments.

I have to stop thinking that the light at the end of the tunnel might be a freight train. If someone turned that into a meme I’d be grateful.

Anyway, since we’re talking about the new year and resolutions and changes and such, I’m going to take this moment to announce my unofficial retirement from the stage. I say “unofficial” because if I’ve learned anything from the last year, and unintentionally Justin Bieber, it’s “never say never” but I am definitely hanging up my fishnets for an undetermined amount of time. So if anyone is interested I have about eight shades of red lipstick, a random assortment of mismatched eyelashes, half a tube of butt paste and a bottle of baby powder up for grabs. (If you plan to spend 4-12 hours on horseback while wearing various versions of spandex the last two items are for you!)

Either way, the plan is not to spend 2018 incessantly uttering the words “I can’t, I have rehearsal”. Instead, I have decided to take some time to pursue other passions: teaching dance, making some major life changes (more on those later, you’ll want to stay tuned), writing more and focusing on education for Rinn and myself.

Which brings me to my own recent educational dilemma. While Rinn has been dominating reading, writing, arithmetic and all things kindergarten, I have experienced slightly less success in pursuing my Bachelors Degree. Prior to the most recent semester I spent four consecutive semesters on the Dean’s List as a full-time student, full-time employee, and full-time mom. It’s not easy fulfilling the roles of three people but it’s apparently doable if you forgo the recommended eight hours of sleep and replace any of the major food groups with caffeine.

Then I changed jobs at the beginning of the year and got a wild, yet noble, hair up my ass and decided to homeschool. Turns out there is no amount of caffeine or sleep deprivation that will save you when you’ve been burning the candle at both ends so long that the candle is no longer a candle but a sad puddle of wax. A sad puddle of wax who spent the better part of an hour having a nervous breakdown in the Target parking lot. I just needed to go inside and buy face wash but you would have thought that someone asked me to climb Mount Everest without a guide or a winter coat. Something had to give and that something ended up being one of my classes; Introduction to Argumentation to be exact. It’s an elective course for my minor and the way I see it, I’m already really good at arguing, just ask my parents who have been arguing with me since I could talk.

Eventually the semester came to a close I completed my other three courses with two A’s and an A-. My lesson in all of this? There is no shame in letting things go, in doing less, in resting; unless of course you find pleasure in becoming hysterical over tiny errands. Then by all means, keep on trucking.

If I ever get around to writing my memoirs you’ll probably find them in the self-help section. With that said, cheers to 2018: the year of deep breaths and lights not being freight trains.

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