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Musketeers Pee Their Pants


This may come as a surprise to most of you but this blog didn't exactly pay the bills. To give you some perspective, I could probably afford the sales tax on a pack of gum with what I raked in writing this ridiculous thing. Perhaps if I published a post more than once every 18 months I could swing a multipack. The point being, writing is a hobby; dance, whether it's teaching it or doing it, was always what kept the creditors at bay.

However, it was brought to my attention on a recent getaway to my motherland that there are a few fans out there jonesing for a dose of "Hot Mess Mommy." Also I lost a pair of used underwear somewhere between Target and my front door today and thought to myself "everyone in the online world MUST hear about this" so I'm throwing caution to the wind and staging a comeback.

Underwear has always been kind of a struggle for me. One day it's inside out, the next it's backwards and then there was the time that I took it off mid-outing with a former boyfriend in a horribly lame Basic Instinct rendition. Whoever decidedly stole my coat that evening ended up with an awkward bonus in the pocket. Today's loss was substantially less sexy in that I just couldn't be bothered to put them back on after taking them off to tan.

Don't judge, life is hard sometimes.

It would appear that my son is on par to have similar struggles considering he is freshly three and has yet to wear a pair because, boys and girls, we have yet to master potty training. I have one of those strange children that finds using public toilets fascinating but when at home can't take a break from terrorizing the house with a foam pirate sword pretending to be a member of The Three Musketeers long enough to take a leak.

After a few infuriating months I've succumbed to a more laissez-faire approach hoping that all those people who preach "one day it will just click" have a clue. I really don't want to someday be buying adult diapers for the both of us (which I'll undoubtedly put on backwards and inside out).


"Underwear be damned!"


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